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The Gift [click here]

(Rock WILK)
February 18, 2009
all words and music Rock WILK
My life’s magnificent gift came wrapped
with this unforgettable smile of an angel
caressing my spirit

with storied, orchid blue eyes
ocean deep
recalling my forgotten desire to dive in
and explore the depths
of really the only place
where you can actually find buried treasures

with one look,
I was "snapped up" captured
my trap door pried free
my state of lockdown,
over and done with.
I wanted,
no, I felt like I needed
to be shackle chained to this
undisturbed, pacific presence
reminiscent of my indigenous gist

I was stamped
"quick caught up"
I wanted to just move in
I felt like I was home
I wanted to be buried in this place

and so I found myself
slowly untying this bow
with the anticipation
of my first childhood memory
Of just jump in and get wet,
of believing,
of trusting
I undressed it,
stripped that vessel naked
just so I could taste it,
and I opened that box
and waiting for me inside
with arms open wide
was evolution

Pandora was staring me in the face
was daring me to listen
was singing poetic
yet complicated changes
like Giant Steps to me,
like Miles, back turned haunting melody,
pulling me
to put myself inside of this invitation

Valentines Day arrow shot
and pierced my sternum right to my core
I was paralyzed catatonic
calm before the thunder and lightning
You see this moment
was as still a moment
as I had ever experienced

and so it began
and you filled me up
and you changed me
enabled me to fly from the cocoon
that you recognized
unraveled, and ripped open
so I could find my way free
and soar
my wings suddenly wet again
you made me brand new
and I went with you

You took me and you learned me
You pushed every "on" button
you had me vampire wanting
To combine blood
and have my grandmother's name
look just like me
You had me

and I was ready for the first time
Like a baby birds beak
cracking eggshell
Emerging eyes slowly opening wide,
your light, almost too bright
to be able to see all the possibilities
I let you touch me

Like a roadtrip
I was so excited to ride with you
To slowly paint new colors,
your full spectrum radiance
driving my passenger side.
Or I could take the wheel
if you wanted to just feel the wind on your bare feet.
I thought we were taking this transcendental trip with no deadline in mind,
to find the other side of this rainbow.
But we never had a chance to find it.
Our beginning,
this genesis
unfortunately had an expiration date.
You terminated us

red orange green blue indigo violet
quickly silenced to grey tones.
Black & white
replaced sometimes ambiguous,
but always endless possibilities,
and became faded,
until the only part left that I could see
was me
because you were gone

Like the day after New Years
this joyful season ended
and suddenly
It was back to business as usual,
return to ordinary,
I am still in shock.

see, for me,
our time was up too soon
So confusing
you sent my lone wolf away,
took that space and made us a pack
and then you just left
you left this herd
with no words

some sort of primitive beginnings
aroused inside of my scarred aorta,
you follow me.
Remnants of your scent
all up in me
I taste your spirit with each breath
I inhale every breeze
hoping your wind breathes me in
and respirates my asthmatic heart
hoping you’ll look for me
I'm so easy to find
but another day goes by
and you don't look for me

and so now, when I think of you
I can only exhale
I was left to love you
as a permanent part of my soul
Before I ever met you
you see with each of my days
and inside of everything I do
I love you
and so I’ll keep you...
at least what you left behind
for me to hold on to

my imprinted, tattooed memory
reads me from the inside out
written all over my skin now
I’m crystal clear,
"SEE THRU devoted"
to this blink of time that has formed me
in this black hole instant
lasting at least 2000 years
and yea,
I said, at least,
But you see, more likely

perhaps one day we can start over
and try this again
but until then
just walk with me
you don't have to say anything
or explain anything
I understand
that's something you'll no longer do
for me
that's for your new partition
as you compartmentalize again
to take care of your next set of needs
but always keeping
tightly-held-hands-off of you
See now I can see you

See now I understand
that hands... can seduce you
they can caress you
they can cry you
and deep penetrate you wet
into orgasmic connected madness
They can make your nipples stiff-stand up straight
Until... you need-them-off of you
See I DO know you

And one last thing
before I go
since it seems
we're always tangled up
inside of each other's heads,
whether we like it or not.
Don't be an Indian giver.
So I'm just sayin',
with regards to that gift I was talking about,
Even as you starve me,
as you force feed yourself away from me,
Don't take everything...
you can disappear if you need to...
but please...
just don't fade from my memory.
I don't want to forget.